Thursday, 14 April 2011

Post reading: Poem

My way
I became the giver,
I learned to lie
I won't be a skiver
I don´t know why.
I saw the sun,
I got memories of pain;
I had a lot of fun,
but it's hard to train.

I changed my mind,
began to look behind.
I saw the real
I get a feel(ing).
I can release,
but is it the peace?

My father kills
I took my brother,
I left town and mother,
and drive up to the hills.

I was on the brink,
but I don't shrink.

I reach my assignment.

1 comment:

  1. Katharina,
    First of all, I have to say your new blog background is really nice. I think one can see it as a summary of whole the book.

    Your poem tells the reader a lot about Jonas' thoughts and feelings at the end of the book when he finally found out the truth about release and his society. I'm impressed as you even made the lines rhyme. Good work!

    Some mistakes might have to be dealt with, even if one could say that's poetry and poetry does not neccessarily have to follow the rules of grammar and logical thinking. Anyway, think about the following:
    - I gOt memories of pain (keep it in the simple past, there are other verb forms you should check for this as well)
    - but it's hard for me to train (sentence structure)
    - "feel" is not a noun, sorry - as this destroys the rhyme. You should go for "feeling"
    - I HAD a lot of fun (you don't "feel" fun!)